Despite years of petitioning and wishful thinking by parents the world over, babies still do not come with instruction manuals. And so, we have to rely on three different sources to guide our parenting decisions. 1) Our instincts, 2) Society, and 3) Experts. We put our faith in these three sources of information to help us raise our children in the best way possible.
So when we come to find out we have been let down by any one of these, it can feel like a serious betrayal. Because this form of misinformation is unlike any other misinformation we may receive. This misinformation affects what is most valuable to us: our children.
My biggest parenting regret so far is that I listened to society and many so-called "experts" when it comes to one topic. Breastfeeding vs formula feeding.
I always knew I wanted to breastfeed. You hear it all the time. "Breast is best." It even states that breastmilk is best for babies on the containers of formula. There was really no question in my mind. I didn't even put bottles on my baby registry.
What I wasn't prepared for, however, was that it might not come so easily. I was not prepared for an early arrival, for pumping, for latch issues. I was not prepared for it to be such hard work. And when you are not prepared for the challenges that life can throw your way, you are ill equipped to deal and overcome said obstacles.
And so, I never pumped as much as necessary. When latch issues popped up, instead of sticking with it I went with a bottle of breastmilk. Once my frozen milk started running out, instead of pumping double time and trying harder than ever to nurse, I supplemented with formula. And by then, it was pretty much over.
I was failed. And my daughter was failed.
We were failed by society. Formula is everywhere, you can purchase it at any drugstore or supermarket. There are ads everywhere, you get ads and coupons in the mail almost daily as a pregnant woman. Formula feeding is seen as a completely valid "choice" a mother can make for herself and her child.
We were failed by "experts". Doctors ask you if you plan to breastfeed or bottle feed. They hand out formula coupons at their offices. They do not let you know the whole story about breastmilk vs formula. All the times I heard "breast is best" amounted to nothing. That slogan implies there are other valid, healthy choices, and breastfeeding is simply the best one.
And finally, I failed us. I failed to listen to my instincts about what is best for my child and caved in to the "easy way out". I failed to do enough research to know the whole story and make an informed decision. Do you know what the first ingredient on "sensitive" infant formulas are (the kind I fed my daughter)? Corn syrup solids. Would you feed solidified corn syrup to your child or toddler as the basis of their diet? Would you eat it yourself? Then why the HELL would you feed it to your brand new baby??
Here are the facts.
Bottlefed babies are:
-Twice as likely to die from any cause in the first six weeks of life.
-Two to five times more likely to die of SIDS.
-Five times more likely to be admitted to hospital suffering from gastroenteritis.
-Twice as likely to suffer from bouts of diarrhea
-Twice as likely to suffer from inner-ear infection
-Twice as likely to develop eczema or a wheeze if there is a family history of atopic disease
-Five times more likely to develop urinary tract infections.
-Six to 10 times more likely to develop necrotizing enterocolitis in the first six months of life, a figure that increases to 30 times the risk after that time. THIS IS THE DISEASE THAT ALMOST KILLED OUR LITTLE GIRL
-Twice as likely to develop juvenile-onset insulin-dependent (type 1) diabetes.
In later life, studies have shown that bottlefed babies have a greater tendency towards developing conditions such as childhood inflammatory bowel disease, multiple sclerosis, dental malocclusion, coronary heart disease, diabetes, hyperactivity, autoimmune thyroid disease and coeliac disease. There is also a five- to eightfold risk of developing lymphomas in children under 15 who were formula fed, or breastfed for less than six months.
As for breastfed babies, I'll let this graphic tell the story.
The World Health Organization (WHO) designates formula milk as the last choice in infant-feeding. It goes like this:
1st choice- breastmilk from the mother's breasts
2nd choice- the mother’s own milk given via cup or bottle
3rd choice- breastmilk from a milk bank or wet nurse
4th choice- artificial formula milk
Given all of this information, why would anyone choose to feed formula instead of milk? I know I would not have given up so quickly if I had been well informed. And so, I am taking it upon myself to help get this message out there:
BREAST IS NOT BEST.
IT IS THE ONLY HEALTHY, SAFE, LOGICAL CHOICE FOR YOUR BABY!
I know there are a very small number of mothers who legitimately cannot produce milk. Please know, I place no blame on you. Society needs to make it easier to obtain donor milk so you, too, can feed your baby right. I also know there are a small number of babies that, regardless of the mother's diet, cannot drink breastmilk. Special formulas are truely what is best for these babies.
For the rest of us, however, it is vital that there is more education about just how harmful formula is for babies. Many mothers (like myself) are stressed to the max, and formula offers an easier alternative, and relief of stress. It can seem like a godsend, I know. However, as you can see from the information given above, this could not be further from the truth. It is akin to getting McDonalds for your child's every meal. Yes, it would take a lot of stress off your shoulders, but it would be incredibly unhealthy and detrimental to your child. Taking on the extra time and stress of preparing a home-cooked meal for your child is essential for the well-being of said child. So it is with breastfeeding.
I made the mistake of giving up on breastfeeding and giving my daughter formula. I was duped by societal norms, lack of or misinformation by doctors, and my own lack of research. I know now, now that it is too late for my little girl. For the longest time, I would alternate between self-hatred for failing my daughter, and trying to tell myself that it was ok, that I did my best. I have finally found peace, and this is how: I have admitted my mistakes.
Yes, I made a terrible decision.
I was duped.
I should have done my reasearch.
But I now know better. I will never EVER make this mistake with any future children.
If I am blessed with any more children, I will work hard to breastfeed, and continue until he/she naturally weans himself/herself. The WHO recommends a minimum of 2 years, so that will be my goal.
I will do better.
And I will help educate other women on how very important it is to feed their babies human milk, not artifical baby formula.
To my daughter: I apologize. I am sorry I did not provide you with the best start in life. I am sorry I did not do my research in time and allowed myself to be duped. I am sorry I did not do what was best for you.
To anyone reading: please do not make the same mistake I, and so many others, have made. Make the right choice, the only choice really. And educate others, so they can do the same.
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